Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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