I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
