woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
