Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
