just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
