I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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