She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Are my feet made of real feet?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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