just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
