Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
