is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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