No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
