The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
sex in a hospital.. check
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
