It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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