My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
