I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
