Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
