Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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