using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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