I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
