If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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