babies were throwing up all over the place
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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