i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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