The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
