im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
