Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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