Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
