i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
