how can u be prego again
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
