Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
