Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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