imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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