I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
