Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
