I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
