Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
