Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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