last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
