Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
