in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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