Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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