you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
