Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
A+ Viking dick
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
