I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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