Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
