What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
