Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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