stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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