I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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