My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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