My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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