spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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